


How Would You Feel

by cinnamonsmolyuzu



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Jealous Javi, M/M, Shibshibs have to be there, brian knows, imagine they were also invited for wtt, javi is confused, pooh is also there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-28
Updated: 2017-04-28
Packaged: 2018-10-24 19:51:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10748646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cinnamonsmolyuzu/pseuds/cinnamonsmolyuzu
Summary: Javier is confused with his feelings for a certain someone.





	How Would You Feel

**Author's Note:**

> So hi! This is my first fanfic ever, so I was a bit anxious about me posting it at first, but I did it anyway so yay! The title came from Ed Sheeran's [How Would You Feel (Paean)](https://youtu.be/ZZMZiBCRX4c)
> 
> English is not my first language so there are probably some mistakes, aaaand I hope you like it! Comments are very much appreciated :)

Worlds 2017 just ended and Javier never felt so tired in his whole life. He just wanted to go home to rest, relax, and spend some time with his family because he surely misses them. Javier then found himself dragging his whole body on the way to his hotel room to get some of his well-deserved sleep, but unfortunately, he couldn't. He was still thinking about the competition, about how the whole stadium erupted when he got his short program score; how happy he was that day compared to Yuzuru who looked like he was about to break down any moment when he was being reminded about his short program during interviews; how proud he was when he heard the thunderous applause of the audience after the Japanese's free skate; how he became more nervous and pressured because of it; how he felt his whole body became stiff when he started to skate that caused him to fall on his quad, and also ruin a combination and a jump; and how he missed out not only the gold medal, but also the podium. Sure he was disappointed at himself, but he can't not feel relieved because finally, the season has ended, and there will be more time for him to relax first then start the training for the new programs for the upcoming season. 

Javier, still with his banquet clothes, fell asleep thinking about what can the next season bring for him.

\----

The next day, Javier was startled awake by the sound of his ringtone, that signifies that someone was calling him, and that someone was Brian, telling him that he should get ready because his flight to Spain was about to leave anytime soon. Cursing, he pulled himself out of his bed, then went straight to the bathroom and took a shower as fast as he could. Javier then found Brian and Tracy in the lobby and went for them. 

"Sorry, I overslept", Javier murmured.

"Well, that's quite obvious", said Brian. "Also, Yuzuru is with his team mates at the airport already". 

"What? I don't-", the skater tried to argue but was cut by his coach patting him on the back.

The whole ride to the airport was silent, probably because it was still very early in the morning or they were all still sleepy and exhausted from yesterday. When they arrived at the airport, Javier found himself looking for Yuzuru (while Brian was smirking in the background), and then he found him, chatting animatedly with his team mates. Before he knew what he was doing, he was already walking to the Japanese's direction. Yuzuru noticed him and then waved at him while smiling that "Yuzuru smile". The Spanish skater also found himself smiling too, because even though he wouldn't admit it out loud, the younger skater's smile was really contagious.

"Hello Javi!", said Yuzuru, while hugging him.

The Spanish skater hugged him back, "Hello champion".

Yuzuru giggled, "I'm going to miss you".

"Of course you're going to miss me. You will not be able to hear the funniest jokes ever everyday for months. And now I feel depressed just thinking about that", Javier bragged.

"Shut up. I know you gonna miss me too, Javi", muttered Yuzuru.

Now, Javier felt sadness seeped through his body, "Of course", he murmured.

They stopped hugging when they heard someone coughing. It was Brian. "Javi your flight is about to leave any time soon so get yourself ready. And Yuzu, your team mates are waiting for you over there." They both nodded. 

"So, uhm, see you back in Canada?", Javier asked.

Yuzuru nodded, "Bye Javi!".

\----

Javier wasn't expecting his family to be at the airport when he arrived in Spain because he wanted to surprise them, but how did they know? Oh, right. He then remembered that Yuzuru once asked him when they were in Finland for her sister's number. When he asked the him why, he answered "Why not? She also a good friend of me, so normal to have number". Javier thought, "So that's why". While they were on their way to their home, Javier felt his phone vibrated. He was not shocked when he saw who messaged him. "Surprise! I know you probably already tired when you there so I thought that you would feel better if they come for you. Please don't get mad ^_^". Seriously? How can he get mad with this man when he was just being concerned? Javier was smiling like an idiot when he messaged him a short reply, "Thank you Yuzu".

Javier spent most of his time in Spain with his family, visiting his old neighborhood, chatting, keeping up with each other and more. One day, when he was accompanying his sister Laura while shopping, he saw a Winnie the Pooh plushie. 

"Wait, I'm just gonna look at this". Javier then entered the shop.

Laura gave him a quizzical look, then decided to just follow his brother inside. "I never knew you like Winnie the Pooh".

"I don't like it before, but because Yuzuru has this cute Pooh tissue box, you know the one you see during competitions? I'd come to liking it. Look, its face is really cute and squishy and calming", Javier said while squeezing Pooh's face. 

Laura has never been this shocked and confused before. "You know, you've talked about Yuzuru more than you talked about your entire season".

"I did?" Javier asked, a bit confused. "Well, just wait a little while I buy this".

Still amused by his brother's behavior, Laura just shrugged, and then they went home, with Pooh being clutched by Javi at his side.

\----

When they finally arrived home, Javier was so tired that he went straight to his room to rest. After showering, he then went to his bed to sleep, with Pooh getting squished between his arms. He was about to fall asleep when he heard a notification sound from his phone. As much as he wanted to ignore it and just read it tomorrow, it bothered him that he couldn't fall asleep, so he read it anyway. The Spanish skater was reading an e-mail about him being invited to an event as a guest skater, "Okay", he typed and hit send and then fell asleep face down.

Javier woke up to the sound of his alarm. He then smelled some good food downstairs, so he decided to went to eat. He was scrolling through his phone when a message popped up. From Yuzuru, "See you in Japan in next weeks ^_^". What? He was really confused at what was happening, and then he remembered something, an e-mail from last night. Oh shit. He went through it again and realized that yes, he was invited for the WTT, and that he just sent an "Okay" as a reply. Feeling horrible, he sent another e-mail, a more formal one, with him apologizing and agreeing that yes, it was a pleasure to be a guest skater for this event.

\----

Javier arrived in Japan on the day of the banquet. He hadn't met Yuzuru since he came, so he was 'a bit' excited to see him there. When the Spanish skater turned up in the banquet, everyone was glad to see him. Pictures were taken, chats with other skaters were made, and more. Quite disappointed, Javier still tried to find Yuzu in the sea of skaters, when he finally found him laughing with Shoma, probaby due to a joke said by the latter. Ba-dum. What is happening? Ba-dum. Javier's heart suddenly went into overdrive. Ba-dum. What the hell? Still confused on what was happening, Javier didn't hear Maia and Alex calling for him. 

"Javi! Javi! Hey man, what's wrong?" Alex asked looking worried.

"We've been calling for you a thousand times already, are you okay?" Maia added.

"Huh? What? Yes, yes I'm fine. Really fine. Why wouldn't I be, right? Yes, good, fine." Javier assured.

Maia and Alex looked at each other. Both already knowing that yes, their friend was in no way in a 'fine' state, and yes, it was because of a certain someone.

"Oh look! Yuzu! Here! Hey man! How are you?", Alex started.

Javier almost dropped the glass of wine he was holding when he heard the Japanese skater's name. 

"I'm really happy! And oh, Shoma! Come here!" said Yuzuru. Shoma went to there direction and started talking to Alex and Maia. "Javi! I didn't see you there!"

"You didn't because you were busy attending Shoma so much", Javier murmured.

"What? I didn't understand you say",Yuzuru asked looking confused, then smiled at Javier and went on his way to hug him. "I missed you".

"Yeah", said Javier. Yuzuru looked at him and then to Maia and Alex, telepathically asking them what was wrong with Javier, and they just shrugged, mouthing that they do not know, too.

"Uhm... Javi? What's wrong? Did I-" Yuzuru was cut by Shoma calling him for another picture with Boyang Jin, and also told him that Javier was also included.

When the picture taking with the other top skaters finally ended, Javier just wanted to get out of there as soon as he possible. He couldn't understand what just happened. Why does Shoma had to go everywhere to where Yuzuru was? Why was he close to him when they were talking? Why was he even mad at Shoma? And did he just snapped at Yuzuru? What is really happening?

When Javier found the perfect time, he immediately left the banquet and went towards his hotel room.

\----

"Maia, have you seen Javi? I haven't seen him since earlier", Yuzuru worriedly asked.

"Oh I'm sorry Yuzu, but I also haven't seen him since then", Maia answered.

"Don't worry, he was probably in his hotel room being really dramatic over a certain someone", Alex chuckled.

Maia glared at his brother, while Yuzuru gave him a questioning look.

"Uhm, excuse me? You looking for Javier? I saw him left earlier looking really angry", Kana informed them, when she accidentally overheard the conversation.

"Really? Thank you, Kana", Yuzuru thanked and bowed his head, then told them that he should leave to find Javier.

"Told you", Alex laughed, with Maia hitting him on his shoulder.

\----

Yuzuru went to find Javier. He found himself in front of the Spanish skater's hotel room, knocking for the last five minutes. When there was still no answer, he tried to opened the door and there he was. Javier was sitting outside in the balcony, who looked really focused on something Yuzuru doesn't know. The younger skater started to walk towards Javier, he then tapped his shoulder. 

"Dios mio! Yuzu! You scared the shit out of me! Next time, make a sound when you come in", Javier told him, still holding his heart.

Yuzuru giggled, "I'm sorry. I been knocking for five minutes now and you still not answer so I enter. What are you thinking about? You really focus you didn't know I was already here. What if it was some bad person who came and not me? What will happen-" 

Yuzuru was cut when Javier put his hand in his mouth. "Okay okay chill Yuzu. It was you who came so no need to worry now".

Javier plopped in his sit, Yuzuru sat next to him.

"Javi? What's wrong?"

"Nothing"

Yuzuru glared at him.

"Alright alright, I'll tell you, just stop looking at me like that, it's scary".

Yuzuru then faced him, motioning him to start.

"Miki and I broke up since February. We both knew that it was going to happen any time soon so we were both prepared. It was a mutual decision. But you know, it was still kinda sad, and I miss Himawari." (There's no way that he will tell Yuzuru the real reason why). 

"February? Why didn't you tell me? Why just now? You know I am your friend and I be always here for you", Yuzuru asked, looking hurt.

"I'm sorry. I just thought that I shouldn't tell you my own problems when you already have your own, you know, the 4CC, the Worlds, and now the WTT."

"Javi, we're friends. You should tell me your problems because that's what you want me to do when I have them. We help each other no matter what", Yuzuru assured.

"Thank you, Yuzu."

They sat in silence, looking at the lights from the building, and feeling the cold breeze that continued to hit them. Yuzuru put his head in Javier's shoulder, thighs and hands barely touching. Ba-dum. Oh, this again? Javier thought. Ba-dum. Another one. Ba-dum.The action made Javier's heart explode out of his chest, he also prayed that Yuzuru would not be able to hear it (which was impossible).

_I'm feeling younger everytime that I'm alone with you_

Javier didn't know why, but he suddenly reminisced about the moments he and Yuzuru shared. Like, when the younger skater was pleading Javier to still have quad battles after a very exhausting practice but still agreed even though he was really tired just to see the kid smile; Yuzuru always laughing at his bad jokes and one time tried to make a joke, too but ended up embarrassing himself while Javier was laughing his ass off (Yuzuru hitting him afterwards but then laughs at their own silliness); and them laughing for hours like there's no tomorrow because of something Nam did and didn't stop until their stomach hurt while Brian and Tracy gave them disapproving looks. 

Javier smiled as he remembered those memories on how Yuzuru always managed to make him happy.

_Love flows deeper than the river every moment that I spend with you_

Javier 's heart continued o beat rapidly against his chest, just thinking about how he would absolutely do anything, just to see again how Yuzuru blushed and smiled and murmured a "Thank you" to him when he gave him a Pooh keychain that he bought when he was in Spain; just to stop the Japanese from feeling bad at himself whenever he loses, assuring him that "You are still the champion in my heart"; and just to make Yuzuru not feel homesick whenever he was.

He also felt his heart hurt more when he recalled the moments wherein Yuzuru was taking care of him when he was sick even though they both know that the younger might get sick too, and they will probably be dead if Brian knew about that; when Javier was in a bad mood for a whole day because he just had a fight with Miki and Yuzuru reassuring him that everything will be fine, that he should not worry; and every time when Yuzuru skates, Javier's whole world seem to go in a slow motion. How he glides through the ice, how he jumps like he was floating in thin air, and how he puts his heart out while performing on the ice. Seeing him skate was an unexplainable feeling, and Javier was also sure that the feelings that he has for his bestfriend, was unexplainable, too.

Javier suddenly snapped out of his reverie when he felt a shivering Yuzuru beside him. 

"Do you want to go inside now?"

"No, here is beautiful. I like here", Yuzuru muttered. 

The older skater immediately removed his coat to put it on the younger skater's body who tried to tell him, "No, Javi. If you get sick because of me, coach will kill me", but eventually Yuzuru let Javier, with the Spanish hugging him by his side. They sat in a comfortable silence again, neither one tried to speak for they both do not want to ruin the moment. But Javier can't take this anymore. He's going to tell Yuzuru his true feelings for him, and now was the perfect time.

"Yuzu, I-", Javier started, but stopped when he saw Yuzuru sleeping peacefully, with his head still on Javier's shoulder. Ba-dum. If he had to jump a quintiple toe loop just to experience this moment everyday, he would surely do it. Slowly, he tried to pick Yuzuru up, hoping to not wake him, and then went inside to tuck him in his bed.

Javier looked at Yuzuru's chest rise and fall whenever he breathes, and then at his face who looked so relaxed and peaceful. He never saw someone looked this beautiful while sleeping, Javier thought (but maybe he's a bit biased).

Javier then started to sing, in a very soft voice, careful not to wake up the prince.

"How would you feel, if I told you I loved you? It's just something that I want to do. I'll be taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you. So tell me that you love me too".

As Javier was about to get up to find somewhere to sleep (probably on a couch), he suddenly felt a hand holding his own. He then looked back to see a smiling Yuzuru.

"I love you too, Javi".

**Author's Note:**

> same yuzu, we love javi too :)) so the song that javi sang is obviously from ed sheeran's how would you feel. honestly i don't know how to feel about thinking javi singing???? i can't form a scene in my mind. what do you guys think? is it out of character or anything?? anyway thank you all for the positive response to this fic! really appreciated it :)


End file.
